he likes him
2006-02-20, 10:56 a.m.

We did the deed. Yeah, I know, everybody here wants to hear about that, but I just had to say so.

Random and I met at the club, she left with Santa Hat Guy (don't even ask) but new guy's friend still needed a ride home so we ended up staying til last call anyway. This friend is actually how new guy and I met. He was hitting on me, I was having none of it. He brought over new guy to be wingman and cover Random (whom I was using as an excuse to stay away from this guy) and I saw new guy, and that's all she wrote.

Seriously, I've thought for a long time that being this happy was out of my reach I was so miserable for so long. We've already decided we're staying together for quite a while. It's great that I can say I don't see the end of us, and he doesn't flip out. He just smiles (BEST smile I've ever seen, he has the sexiest mouth) and says he doesn't either. And says he sees us living together one day. Honestly, I do too. Not soon or anything, but I'm moving to Cols by october at the latest, and I see it just a slow evolution as his stuff migrates to my apartment. And he told me it's weird, cause it's all so young, but this is already one of the best relationships he's ever had. Me too.

He doesn't think he'll ever want his own children, and if he does, not til he's like 35. Which is fine with me, I don't think I ever want more. He likes Shortman, and that situation works out very well because the diaper thing is over, the nursing thing is over, the straight up mommy-dependence is over, and ubermommymode is over. He said that's actually a situation he'd prefer, but I'm the first girl he's ever dated who's had a child.

I told him how I'm not sure about having any more because I struggle with a hereditary weight problem, and I really don't want to nurse again but there's no way in hell I'd ever NOT nurse one of my kids. Formula is gross. There has been formula recalled for powdered glass, and I know for a fact that breastmilk is 0% powdered glass.

It's just crazy that we can talk about that and neither of us is preturbed by it. We'll never get married. He doesn't believe in it, and I really don't either. I would've married T, because of the whole military thing, but I'd rather not get married. To be honest, it's a tool of the patriarchy to rob women of themselves and their identities. No offense to those who get married, everybody does what's best for themselves and that's fine by me.

I just also don't like how in this country, marriage is like a suburban racist country club. Doesn't matter how much you love someone, you have to meet certain specs to get in. Have to be opposing genders, and that just doesn't sit well with me. I don't like the idea of being a member of a club like that. "Sorry, we don't like gay people. Be like us or go away." Maybe I'd feel different if I lived somewhere where anyone of consenting age can get married.

I also don't like the idea of becoming legally obligated to stay with someone. Of course, that particular part of it is what's caused me the most trouble. When a relationship is over, you should be able to leave without a lawyer or spending a bunch of money. That's just the way it needs to be. The government shouldn't be "encouraging" (read: forcing) people to stay together like that. It's bloody awful.

Okay, most important part of this entry, Shortman LIKES new guy! Actually admitted to it! He never likes ANYbody. I asked him "do you like new guy?" "Yes, I do." Then we went to Fazoli's for lunch and he's all "I'm sitting next to new guy!!" It's great. I love that he's warming up, and new guy likes it too. Told me "I think Shortman's warming up to me." He WANTS Shortman to like him. It matters to him. That is a very, very good thing.

T met Shortman once, and it was uncomfortable for everyone. Shortman probably would've hated him for like, ever. Would've been telling everyone "that's my STEPdad." I don't think it ever would've gotten better.

Dating is so effing complicated when there's a kid involved. I'm glad I finally came up with an ace.